I tried Gwyneth Paltrow's diet
I tried Elizabeth Taylor's diet
I tried Karl Lagerfeld's diet
I tried Marilyn Monroe's diet
I tried Cameron Diaz's diet
I tried Greta Garbo's diet
I tried Victoria Beckham's diet
I tried Jackie Kennedy's diet
I tried Sophia Loren's diet
I tried Pippa Middleton's diet
I tried Carmelo Anthony's diet
I tried Dolly Parton's diet
And now, a slice of pizza.